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Don’t Threaten Me

I was at breakfast with a friend the other day and we were talking about networking and building our respective businesses.

“I don’t think I’m threatening enough.” He said.

Excuse me. I wasn’t sure I heard him right so I asked him again. He reiterated that a very successful sales coach told him he’d build his business much bigger if he was more threatening.

“You’re too nice a guy”, he said. “Everyone likes you and feels very comfortable with you so it’s hard for you to switch into sales mode.”

My friend felt very uncomfortable with this. He didn’t feel comfortable switching into “sales mode”. He genuinely likes people and doesn’t like to pressure anyone into a sale.

This pressuring, “sales mode” attitude is why most of us hate salespeople. It’s also why most people are uncomfortable selling.  Hard driving sales tactics and techniques are just not who we are. They make us uncomfortable and make our prospective clients put up a great big wall between us.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in, and coach people, on sales processes and techniques that increase the likelihood of making the sale. However, these don’t need to be aggressive and unnatural.  These can help you to build relationships instead of tearing them down.

Here are 3 tips for a no-pressure, natural, relationship building sale:

  • Don’t throw up

The most important thing to all of us is…ourselves. So when we meet someone new at a networking event, or we meet with a prospect, why do we show up and throw up? Why do we insist on talk about ourselves so much before we know anything about them? If people are most interested in themselves, we should spend 80% of the time asking them open-ended questions to find out more about them. They’ll love you for it and it’ll have the added benefit of telling you what their “hot buttons” are and if they’re a true prospect.

  • Consult, don’t sell

People don’t want to be sold. They want their problems solved. Instead of selling them, try to help them solve their problems. This shows them what you can do to help better than a canned sales pitch or a PowerPoint presentation. Some people are concerned that would mean giving their services away for free. However, spending 15 minutes or an hour helping someone solve their problems seems like a small investment to make to gain a new client.

  •  Are you open?

”Are you open to some help with that?” If you haven’t “thrown up” and you’ve “consulted” instead of “sold”, closing the sale becomes much easier. Instead of closing hard using a traditional sales technique, all you have to do is ask this one simple, non-threatening question. Most people are “open to some help”. It doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to make the sale, but it does mean you’re much more likely to openly discuss the potential to do so. 

Selling this way will ensure that if you don’t make the sale, you’ll at least make a friend. And friends refer other friends. You win either way.

What’s worked for you? What tips do you have to make the sale and make a friend at the same time? We’d love to hear them.

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Who is Preventing You From Selling?

How many times have you sat through a sales meeting or any meeting for that matter where you’ve heard someone make the suggestion: “We’ve got to think outside the box.” It’s a phrase that doesn’t need a whole lot of explanation. In fact, it’s seems like the perfect phrase to capture the frustration we experience when our imagination feels trapped and our thoughts appear stuck to the soles of our shoes.

If we think of this metaphorical box as containing the walls that confine our thinking, then by understanding these barriers we open up the opportunity to break free and take control of our negative senses and use the power of our thoughts to develop new ideas and opportunities. In the Little Red Book of Selling, Jeffrey Gittomer outlined the 8.5 negative senses that the subconscious mind presents and projects when selling, which become the walls that paralyze our thinking:  

  1. The sense of fear.
  2. The sense of nervousness.
  3. The sense of rejection.
  4. The sense of procrastination or reluctance.
  5. The sense of justification/rationale.
  6. The sense of self-doubt.
  7. The sense of uncertainty.
  8. The sense of doom.

8.5. The sense of “I’m unlucky.”

Understanding that our minds move us in the direction of our current dominant thoughts, we have the ability to penetrate these walls by focusing our attention to our positive thoughts and taking back control. When you begin to feel in control, you begin to radiate positive energy, which leads to (sales) success. According to Gittomer, adopting the following 6 positive sales senses is the way forward….

  1. The sense of confidence….The air you have about you that’s bred by preparation and previous wins. The best part about confidence is that it’s contagious. You can give it to your prospect. (Don’t confuse confidence with its evil twin – arrogance.)
  2. The sense of positive anticipation – Everyone has read the best book on the subject before the age of five. – The Little Engine That Could. I think I can, I think I can. Thinking you can is 50% of the outcome (So is thinking you can’t.)
  3. The sense of determination – The sense of hanging in there no matter what. Determination is having the prospect tell you “no,” and you hear it as, “not yet.”
  4. The sense of achievement – Everyone subconsciously strives for their goals. Sensing achievement comes from a replay of the satisfaction you gained from making your last sale. Remember how good it felt?
  5. The sense of winning – Everyone wants to win, but only a few actually do. That’s because the will to prepare to win must exceed the will to win.
  6. The sense of success – This is the hardest sense to master, because you must sense it before you actually achieve it. That calm feeling of money in the bank. An “I can do it” attitude. And a well-lit path in front of you. The sense of positive purpose.

Earl Nightingale, in his legendary tape, “The Strangest Secret,” says, “You become what you think about.” Truer words have never been spoken. But the secret to “The Strangest Secret,” is – It’s a dedicated self-discipline that must be practiced every day. How close to “every day” are you?

The most interesting aspect of “The Strangest Secret,” is that it contains the counter balance to turn all your destructive senses into constructive senses by employing the strongest sense of them all – common sense.