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One 3-Letter Word You May Want to Rethink

Let’s talk about a word we probably all use frequently—it’s a very powerful word, but not in the way you might think.   It’s the word TRY.  How often do we use that word in the context of something we are doing, a goal we are setting, an objective we are reaching for?  It’s hard to even write that last sentence without using “try,” as in “something we are trying to do, an objective we are trying to achieve.”

“Try” has become part of our vocabulary, but it limits our abilities to focus on a goal and commit completely to achieving something.   As a way to illustrate this, let’s do a quick activity.  If you are sitting down, stand up.  Are you standing?  Now … try to sit back down.  No, don’t sit down, TRY to sit down.  How did that work?  What do you notice?   The bottom line:  You can’t try to sit down – you either sit down or you don’t. 

Is that same principle not also true of goals or something we set our minds to – that we either do them or we don’t?  We either accomplish or don’t accomplish what we set out to do.  In a take-off from what Tom Hanks said in the movie League of Our Own,  “there’s no trying in life.”  (Well, he actually said, “there’s no crying in baseball,” but you get the point!)

The point is that you can’t try to achieve whatever you set out to achieve – ultimately, you either achieve it or you don’t.  Consider how often we either hear others say “try” or we say “try” ourselves.   How much more powerful and accomplished might we be if we took that pesky three-letter word out of our vocabulary?  Here are some examples across a wide spectrum of areas:

  • Your kids:  from “Yes, Mom, I’ll try to get my homework done before dinner,” … to … “Yes, Mom, I’ll get my homework done before dinner.”
  • In a meeting at your workplace:   from “I’ll try to talk with them about the project,” … to … “I’ll talk with them about the project.” 
  • With your wife/husband/significant other:  from “Let’s try to spend more time together on the weekends,” … to … “Let’s spend more time together on the weekends.” 
  • In your life:  from “I’m trying to exercise three times a week,” … to … “I am exercising three times a week.”

Do you notice the difference in how the statements above sound when the word try is in them or not in them? 

So, here is your challenge:   For the next week, don’t just try to do whatever you are focused on – do it without the “try” in your sentence.  Catch others in the act too – have them try to sit down to illustrate your point.  And as always, let me know how it goes!   

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Keep Your Motivation Engine Running

I was running late for an appointment last week and jumped into my car and turned the key .The nice smooth sound of ignition I was so used to hearing was replaced by the horrible grinding sound of an engine just about to turnover. I kept turning the key thinking that by some miracle it would stop the grinding noise and just start. Instead it drained what was left in the battery and silence followed. I was dead in the water.

How many times have you found yourself ready to go but unable to move? You lack the spark and or energy to move forward. Where did it go? You might have started out on your goal, journey or project with plenty of good intentions but for whatever reason it dissipated or just stopped. As a student of human behavior and a Business Coach I am brutally aware of the difficulty of keeping ourselves motivated to get to where we want to go. The traditional motivation methods most of us have experienced are motivation by incentive or fear. The boss tries to scare you into action by threats that range from firing to demotion. The next day in a change of heart the boss offers you the promise of bonuses, promotion or equity if you achieve the goal. Clearly both can have an impact, and often do, but the results are usually short term at best. Threats lose their veracity if they are never acted on. Incentives are only effective if you believe the goal is achievable but lose their long term impact once achieved. Neither approach has a long lasting motivational impact.  So what is one to do if you want to change or achieve a difficult goal but can’t seem to stay motivated to do what is necessary to get to your destination?

I believe part of the answer is in finding what sparks us or excites us. If you can discover what you are passionate about and harness that passion you can access an unlimited battery of inspiration energy to keep you motivated and moving forward. Discovering your passion can be difficult since most of us have followed the career scripts provided to us by well meaning parents, educators and society.  A simple way to start would be to list all the activities you do in your present job that you enjoy doing and are good at. The next step would be to ask your peers, friends, clients and family what they think your greatest strengths are.  You should get some clarity on what you are passionate about and what truly motivates you. Finally, a good book that gives some insight to the power of connecting your passion to business is “Crush It!” by Gary Vaynerchuk

Aligning your passion with the behaviors necessary to convert that passion into results assures you a consistent spark that will keep your motor running!